just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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