You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
