"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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