No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
