His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
