Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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