quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
