bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
