On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
