I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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