it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
