Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize