i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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