Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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