She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
