I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
