We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My bed smells like the plague
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
