her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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