The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize