oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
