I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
