Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
