We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize