we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
