How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so explain again why im purple
no
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
In America we eat man semen.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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