I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
