You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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