Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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