Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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