I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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