I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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