Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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