he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
