nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
