You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
