sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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