I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Randomize
