people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
