she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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