I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
