im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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