White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
