What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
