Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
