dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
