Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
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