just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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