But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
