yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
