Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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