I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize