That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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