just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
