haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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