If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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