My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
nutella sex= disaster
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
